


Flying Blind

by rairichan



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Apologies, Eventual Fluff, Ficlet Collection, M/M, Mentions of TCP, My First Work in This Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21964795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rairichan/pseuds/rairichan
Summary: The Kleinman's invite the Hansen's over for dinner, but things are still rough between Evan and Jared.-(or, Evan apologizes to Jared and things kinda get better.)
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman
Comments: 2
Kudos: 56





	Flying Blind

**Author's Note:**

> this is so short and icky, but I haven't written anything in almost a year so give me a break.
> 
> Also, can we please start a hashtag for more Kleinsen content? I'm dying from withdrawal, okay?
> 
> Anyways, enjoy. :)

In retrospect, Evan should’ve seen this coming. Really, he should’ve, especially because his mom has been preaching for weeks now, ever since The Connor Project has quieted down, that she would make a better presence in his life.

Though, he didn’t expect her to try like this.

“W-What did you say, Mom?” Evan has just walked through the door, glad that school was over for the week so that he could spend the weekend away from his bubbling responsibilities. But of course not. His mom, on the other hand, was relaxing for the first time in her life, like “bubbling responsibilities” wasn’t her middle name a month ago. She was acting like she didn’t just proudly say the most offending thing Evan has ever heard--

“Dinner at the Kleinman’s. Tonight.” She smiled up at him, like she usually did when trying to relate to him or whatever, from the couch she was sitting on, “I thought it would be a nice change, honey.”

Evan bit his lip. Maybe not the most offending thing she could’ve said, but still, there was some underlying issues within that sentence. Or, technically, _one_ issue.

Jared Kleinman fucking hated him. He used to _not_ hate him, or at least only mildly disliked him, that is, until Evan royally fucked up everything in his life. But everyone already knows everything about that. And it was a shitty feeling, losing his only semi-friend for something like the Connor Project, something he shouldn’t have been apart of in the first place.

But Evan was over it now. The whole “making-your-one-friend-despise-you-because-you’re-an-idiot” thing. He was fine, and he definitely didn’t need any convincing otherwise.

(He was _not_ okay.)

Evan’s shoulders dropped the longer he thought about it. This night won’t be good.

“Yeah, right, Mom.” Evan pulled slightly on his arm to make himself seemingly smaller. It didn’t necessarily work, because almost 6 feet tall had its limitations, but it was good enough for him. His brain didn’t know the difference.

“Anyways, we made plans to head out around 5:30-ish to 6 o’clock, alright?” His mom had a soft expression, that Evan knew meant that if he _really_ wanted to, he could back out and wallow in his self pity alone and home, and she’s be fine with it; she’d understand. But he also knew that this mattered to her. A lot. Therefore, it has to matter to him, too.

He’s trying with the bonding shit, alright?

“Okay, sounds good.” He nodded, eyes darting to the clock hanging above by the door. 4:52. Great.

This night _definitely_ won’t be good.

｡･ﾟﾟ･･ﾟﾟ･｡

Mrs. Kleinman was the one who opened the door for them. She was wearing a maroon cooking mitten, the other folded in her open hand by the doorknob, and one of the warmest smiles Evan has ever beaded witness to. He, in turn, mimicked her grin, or at least tried, because there was no possible way it lived up to hers at all. She greeted them just as nicely, ushering them through the door she pushed open just a little bit more for both of them to step in. And wow.

The one thing that surprises Evan about the Kleinman’s home is how nostalgic they’ve kept it over the years. Like seriously; same layout, same color scheme (a dark lavender that was complimented by all the chocolatey browns they have going on), down to even the same vanilla scent with a hint of earthy tones, because Mr. Kleinman had to have his input somewhere.

It reminded Evan of his childhood, filled with soft wool blankets and Mrs. Kleinman’s signature snickerdoodles, and everything that was in between.

And then there was Jared. He was standing with his father in the archway that led to the kitchen, with his arms crossed and a slightly annoyed look on his face. Good to know he was feeling exactly how Evan thought.

“Evan, hon, Sarah asked you a question, about school.” His mom rubbed him on the back, to get his attention to Mrs. Kleinman.

“S-School has been okay! It’s b-been fine, but the whole, um, uh, T-The Connor Project just sort of...” He trailer off, not really knowing where he wanted to go with that sentence. He definitely didn’t think he was going to bring up The Connor Project. Mrs. Kleinman gave him a sympathetic look, and Evan internally cringed. Shouldn’t have brought it up.

Evan swore he could’ve cut the tension in the room with a knife.

“It’s... it’s good--it’s been good,” Evan’s mom finished for him, and Evan nodded quickly. When he looked back at Jared, his face was twisted with the upmost annoyance, and maybe a tinge of anger, and Evan regretted every word he’s ever said.

“Well, there are a few things that haven’t finished in the kitchen just yet, so I was thinking this could give us adults a chance to talk a bit,” Mrs. Kleinman said, and Evan’s face paled.

Bad idea. Terrible, shitty idea. Him and Jared alone in a room? Do they not know the stakes? Well... probably not, but the situation still stands as a recipe for disaster, and Evan could already hear all the things he’ll accidentally say.

“That’s a wonderful idea,” Evan whipped his head around to glare at his mom, who didn’t spare him a single glance. Heidi Hansen had a death wish, he assumed, as she kissed his temple and began following Jared’s parents to the next room.

And then there were two.

Evan was truly at a loss for words. He didn’t know what to say. What was there to say to someone whose last word to you was “asshole”, which was referring to you in the first place?

 _You could say sorry_ , his brain supplied unhelpfully.

No shit he _could_ , but he won’t. Not yet, at least. It needed to be special, not something you throw at someone you haven’t talked to in a month because you didn’t have anything else to open with.

“So—“

“C’mon.” Jared cut him off, before he even really got anything out, his voice ivy and disinterested in starting a conversation with Evan. But he was walking up the stairs, and he did mutter the word “c’mon” so... Evan followed.

The staircase was littered with framed family photos of the Kleinman’s and even a few with the Hansen’s. Evan’s heart hurt a little the longer he looked at them.

Then, at last, was Jared’s room. It was the same as it was a month ago, when Evan was here last, with his messy desk and walls, different posters of bands and actors, and stickers posted on seemingly every inch. Everything was the same yet it felt so different. Empty, cold, and uninviting. It was unnerving.

“Jared I—“

“Just- shut the fuck up, Evan,” Jared spit, shutting him up for the second time, but at least he said his name, “I don’t give a shit about anything you have to say.” Evan made no move to speak.

“The shit you said was so-so-so _fucked_. I don’t- I can’t. And the only shit you probably have to say is sorry is bullshit in of itself.” Jared was a caricature of calm. His words were steady and determined, and if it was anyone else standing in Evan’s place, they’d really think that Jared didn’t give a shit. But knowing Jared for years had it’s perks, specifically when it came to his ticks. Like when he was nervous, his thoughts were incomplete and jumbled, or when he was upset, his body starts to tremble and he’d try to stop it by gripping his forearms. And when he was anxious, he’d start scratching the skin around his nails.

Evan studies him, and although his back was towards him, he could see the small and sharp movements Jared made to aid his anxiety. Check, check, and check.

“The only thing I-I could really think to say right now i-is that I’m, um, I’m sorry.” Evan started whispering at the end, like the word “sorry” could somehow burn him if he said it too quickly.

“What the hell did—“

“B-But I really meant it. Seriously, it’s the most s-sincere thing I could say. That I _w-want_ to say. I don’t know what the hell was going through m-my head a month ago, it was probably, um, the fact that seconds after that, I-I would lose everything- everything important to me.”

“And what? Was I—“

“The most i-important person in my life? Yeah, yes, you were. A-Are. You are. And I feel so fucking st-stupid for screwing it up.” Evan finished, his hands slightly sweaty and shaking. He really didn’t know what he said, it just all came out as fast spoken, stuttery waves that most likely made no sense and—

And, for the first time that evening, Jared actually looked at him. He searched and scanned for any indication that Evan might be lying. But for once in his life, he wasn’t.

“I’m so sorry, Jared. Really.”

Jared didn’t say anything. For a while, Evan thought he was going to leave everything as it was; no response from him and all of Evan’s feelings on the line (well.. not _all_ ).

“Y’know, Evan Hansen, it won’t be easy to forgive you and your... extremely dumbass ways.” Jared (finally) replied, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“Yeah...” That was all it took to get Evan transfixed; Jared Kleinman’s ridiculously nice smile, even just half of one.

“So, you’ll put in extra effort to keep this friendship going this time, right?” Jared has successfully blindsided him, with all his talk about being friends, that Evan didn’t notice Jared moving closer to him.

“F-Friendship? You mean, like us being friends or like the whole _family_ -friend thing? ‘Cause—“

“We’ve always been friends dickhead, don’t blow a fuse,” Jared chuckled, rolling his eyes. Evan felt like he couldn’t breathe, like he couldn’t keep up with how fast his heart was beating. _What the hell is happening?_ He only laughed.

“So,” Jared gestured to his open hand, “friends?” Evan blinked a few times then smiled, reaching his hand out to shake Jared’s.

“Yeah, friends.”

｡･ﾟﾟ･･ﾟﾟ･｡

Dinner was relatively okay, to say the least. Now that Jared could stand being in the same room as him, Evan would tell anyone that things were semi-perfect (the problem being that nothing in Evan’s life was perfect, but that’s a different discussion.)

“We really appreciate you guys coming over,” Mrs. Kleinman said from the door. By the time dinner was over, the sun had set, leaving a dark sapphire sky with millions of twinkling stars dusting it.

“Yeah, it’s been quite a while since we’ve “chilled” together, as Jared would say,” Mr. Kleinman jokes, earning a few laughs from everyone besides Jared, who instead took to punching him in the arm. Jared had a cherry red blush that burned brighter than the stars. Evan smiled softly. He could admit that flustered Jared was a pretty sight to see.

_Wait, what?_

“Well, we should head out, since we’ve got such a long drive ahead of us,” Evan discarded his previous thoughts (labeling it also a discussion for a different time) and rolled his eyes, following his mom further down the driveway to their car. She made that joke every time they left the Kleinman residence, as if they didn’t live right down the street.

Before Evan got in the car, though, he heard Jared calling for him, “Evan, hey!” He pokes his head out of the open door.

“Yeah?”

“Call me.” Jared said, holding his hand up to his ear and mimicking a phone.

It was Evan’s turn to blush, “Y-Yeah, okay!”

Evan quickly shuffled into the car, closing the door a bit to harshly. He rubbed his face with the palm of his hand as his mother started driving, and in silence he thought about what had happened that night.

“Call me, huh?” His mom asked, giving him a knowing grin.

“S-Shut up, _please_.”

｡･ﾟﾟ･e n d ･ﾟﾟ･｡

**Author's Note:**

> icky...... and definitely not beta'd so:) oh well  
> 
> 
> #CreateMoreKleinsenContent


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